“What do you really want to do?”

Raphael and Leanan-Shide

In the moment between the lights and the wardrobe Leannan leaned over and whispered, “What do you really want to do?”

Raph took a quick breath and looked up with his eyes as he dropped his head.  Her voice echoed in the space over his shoulder behind his ear.  Airports and hotels, pretty girls and late nights and smiles…“who…?” He looked again and the girl in the lights looked puzzled and he turned the camera in his hand in a familiar escape from the question and looked through her lies into the dream.

“If I fall in love with you I will be your prisoner.”  

If you don’t I  will be yours.”

The dialogue behind his eyes turned pale blue and she opened hers wider waiting, searching, and the moment was lost before he answered.  Lights, cameras ready, pose…pause.

Across the floor the makeup girl was busy in box of ribbons.  She had been twisting and tying them into a straw hat for for days.  Yellow. pink and orange, snipping holes and bending the brim into the line of light he’d been waiting for.  It fell on cue and the rest was a blur.  The rest were oblivious to her and the voice over his shoulder between the takes and retakes and revisions and his visions.  They stared into the west without their iphones a thousand miles south of never…drifting.

“I want to shoot you naked and paint colors in your hair.” 

This time the words escaped…

“I want to make them see what I see.”


Her breath was short and her mouth opened at the center like there was more to say.

“I want you to stop pretending to be anyone, anywhere but right here right now.”


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