“The more you ignore me the closer I get…
I’ve made up your mind…”
Morrissey said it all before…you know I love the Smiths but I see his eyes close and hear the words change after so many years and I know he knows that love. You know the one, right? The one that you loved even when she said no more, when it was over, when she pushed back, when you knew and she told you and you made up her mind…”oh let me in.”
The maple Seagull is on the couch beside me at midnight where I played Danny Boy until the pale blue turned black beyond the clouds and my fingers hurt at the F Sharp on the 4th fret. Now that is a love song.
The women will come and go speaking of Michaelangelo* but fathers and sons and names shared for generations are the timeless and immortal loves of our lives like the waters of the Elbow and the Old Man. They bend in memory like heroes we never knew beyond buses and trains and riding bikes to school and camp-outs in the back yard.
I imagine his thoughts and the night he scribbled ‘Shirley’ in his Navy journal between a few wets on leave. I imagine the words were my own and what I would have said had I found myself waking on shore when my brothers had died in an empty frozen sea without me…or the day his wife’s brother flew into the forever blue and never returned.
Ours is the story of many sons and fathers who loved women and sang songs and dreamed of the one once upon a time who will grow old with us and share the remains of these days between nap-times and guitar strings.
I see that in his face, in the sideburns turned silver grey and the solemnity of lovers lost and I feel the words, he means it when he says, ‘let me in’…