I made the mistake tonight of watching “What Women Want”…and that should be all I need to say about that, or maybe I should know better than to say anything at all but clearly I don’t (so let me apologize now…for all men, um, well, for everything).
There was a moment of epiphany somewhere near the ending (after Mel Gibson lost his gift…the gift of hearing women’s thoughts) when I stopped and thought to myself, ‘I don’t speak the way I think either’. Looking back, I see the same can be said for my writing. Behind pencils and keyboards my mind works at a slower pace, in greater depth and clarity, deliberately and admittedly with an infinite amount more composure…usually. The trouble is I learned somewhere like most men (I suspect) that anything but being ‘on’, being right, is weakness. Offense or defense it doesn’t really matter, ‘I am right’, (right?) and to make matters worse she (my wife) is as quick to the draw and just as ‘right’ as I am.
Getting to the point, I often mostly have no idea what women want…but I know I love them…I love my wife and my kids and the words and the stuff of life that brings us here, like that crazy Breakfast At Tiffany’s song – by Deep Blue Something, lyrics like “and if a ten ton truck killed the both of us” in There is a Light and it Never Goes Out – by The Smiths, any song by Jeff Buckley, and all the other dreadfully happily sad love-sick songs men have written to say those things that men can never say right because we don’t know what else to say.
post script – sleep becomes the night and the lights turn dim behind closing eyes. ‘The voices of singing women are calling on the far shore.’ The voices breathe so many things so much deeper so much stronger than love. Soon you will open your eyes to the light and the breaking dawns of newer days. Today is done and tomorrow will be home.