“Yellow Bird…”, the song is playing in my head as the quiet surrounds and the snow turns to sun, turns to rain, and back to snow.
I walked with my wife over to the park from our house and she was holding our little girl sending a text on her phone while our son did his own thing happy to have his teacher his babysitter for the day. My wife and I went for a mountain bike ride and sat by the lake without a worry while she watched the little ones…and looking back through the fog of the news I was oblivious to any care or concern she may have had inside her own little world so much greater than our daily struggles.
When my wife called I didn’t have words, I was numb and dumb and couldn’t even remember the last time I saw her. All I remember is the day in the park was sunny and the kids were happy. I can’t really understand that she’s gone now, not yet….or why or even want to know how. I don’t wan’t to know so please don’t tell me.
So quiet…there’s no noise but the fish tank filter behind me. Even the refrigerator has stopped humming. Just quiet. How could this life, this place, bring you anything but calm…I don’t know but it does and I am so sorry we didn’t see.
Godspeed, peace and wings.